YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT TODAY!

One thing I want to do with this space is a recurring feature called “You Can’t Make That Today!”, featuring TV shows and movies from the 60s, 70s and 80s that would in no way be permitted in our hyper-PC culture today.

I start with one of the most popular sitcoms of the 1970s and early 1980s, M*A*S*H.

YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT TODAY!

What: M*A*S*H

Category: TV Series

Genre: Comedy

Dates(s): 1972 – 1983

Would offend if aired today:

  • Blacks
  • Asians
  • Women
  • LGBTQ

M*A*S*H the TV series was based on the movie of the same name and became one of the most beloved TV shows of all time. Although it certainly became leftist and quite preachy in its later years, there’s no way the series survives the first year today. After all, Season 1 featured:

  • A black surgeon named Oliver Harmon “Spearchucker” Jones
  • A Korean houseboy named “Ho-Jon”
  • A sexed-up Head Nurse (“Hot Lips” Houlihan) who seduced or tried to seduce numerous generals and at least one visiting Colonel.
  • A crossdressing male (Corporal Klinger) who, when offered a chance to be declared a Transvestite and a homosexual and be discharged, refused because he was offended at those things. He wasn’t gay, he just crossdressed to show he was crazy. Very bad form in 2018.

Furthermore, of the four primary doctors, three were Matt Lauer-level skirt chasers. Since they outranked the nurses they chased, they would today be accused of sexual harassment.

Although Spearchucker and Ho-Jon went away after Season 1, the show’s basic bawdy premise continued until the departure of Col. Henry Blake and Dr. Trapper John McIntyre after Season 3.

CONCLUSION:

If M*A*S*H aired today, its creators would be forced to issue tearful apologies and attend sexual harassment, cultural sensitivity, and LQBTQ acceptance training. To survive, the show would have to turn Trapper and Henry into sexually frustrated married gay men who have an ongoing affair, while Klinger has gender reassignment surgery and actually becomes a woman. And Hawkeye (Alan Alda) would have to become an overly whiny, sensitive metrosexual poster child. Oh wait – that last part actually happened.

 

Spearchucker Jones

A Clear Violation of the PC Police

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Published by

johnkbates2017

Colorado transplant currently residing in Indiana. I am endlessly curious about the weather, human nature, history, gardening, and cooking. I have a wonderful family of 2 dogs and 3 cats, all of whom are rescues.

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